Crow Fecal Matter

The crows left a slimy mess on my pretty 1996 Nissan Altima.

Brandon Lee is Roosting Outside

Last night, like a Hitchcock movie, thousands of crows roosted and cawed on Pillsbury Ave S. They covered the once bare tree limbs like rats in the sky. A flash of light would transiently scatter them across the horizon. Claiming the trees that surrounded our house, I couldn't help but think "Didn't someone say that crows taste like chicken?"

Check out the Crows Roosting Video (Right click and Save as) from this morning.

You're invited to my graduation party brought to you by my loving parents to celebrate my official doctoring ways. Come a lone or in packs, all are invited, but definitely come hungry. Plus this is double the party since my brother Nam will be graduating from high school.

Saturday, June 2nd at 4pm-8pm


Little Canada, MN 55117


Please RSVP via email
pham0079@umn.edu

Pros to coming:

1. Enjoy my mom's cooking
2. See my childhood home and meet lots of Vietnamese people
   
3. Battle against Joe Miller in N64 Tetris
4. Learn about the French Canadian history of Little Canada
5. Blood pressure checks at your pleasure

Negs to coming:

1. You'll eat so much you might go into a coma
2. Be prepared to say my Vietnamese name in front of my family
3. Joe Miller will make you cry after he finishes you in Tetris
4. Little Canadian history is like holding a surgical retractor for 5 hrs
   
5. Blood pressure checks will incur a $100 bill to your insurance
   

Hope to see you soon,





PS. Click on my name to begin practicing the pronunciation.

Spring Roll/Sushi Roll Party

Purpose: You've been invited to participate in a randomized clinical trial. This double blinded prospective study aims to investigate the effectiveness of teaching a diverse background of Minnesotans the art of wrapping spring rolls and/or sushi rolls. The study hopes to show that Minnesotans are capable of wrapping rolls efficiently.


Background: Minneapolis has become the cultural centerpiece of the Midwest with a blossoming Asian immigrant population. Beginning in the late 70s, the Asians brought their passion, chopsticks, Bruce Lee videotapes, and delectable MSG delights to the ghettos of Minnesota. Soon lo mein, snow crabs, and cheese wantons stormed into the Minnesota buffet scene. However sushi rolls and spring rolls became the hidden culinary gems of the Minnesota bourgeoisie. Roll-it-yourself-spring-roll-and-sushi-roll parties have become the great American party standard for the past five years. Unfortunately, the culinary community has never studied the impact of these parties on the collective psyche of Minnesotans.

Method: All participants are required to bring their favorite beverage to share (i.e snake wine, Ghanian beer, RC soda, etc) and many merry friends with appropriate hand dexterity (i.e. able to do pincer grasp). A mantoux skin test will be administered to check for TB and blood will be drawn to evaluate baseline liver function. Participants will be divided into three groups: Sushi Roll group, Spring Roll group, and No Roll group. Each group will be trained by Ichiban chefs in their perspective rolling assignment. The No Roll group will be not trained, but be given a 1 gallon bucket of ingredients and ordered without instructions to assemble rolls in complete darkness. A pre and post test will be administered on the day of the party. Follow-ups and needs-assessments will continue annually for a lifetime.
Benefits: A pair of chopsticks will be given as a gift to all participants. Instructions will not be provided. Waiver: Each participant will be required to sign a waiver regarding possible salmonella poisoning. The administrators of the study will not be liable for excessive bowel movements from improperly handled rolls. No California spinach will be provided. However cipro, bactrim, and Pepto-Bismol will be available at your leisure.

Reservations: Please send a reservation to pham0079@umn.edu with the number of guests. Reservations are not required, but are much appreciated. You are also welcome to send this invite to anyone in your circle of trust.

Sponsorship:
Gillian Burkhardt (Sushi Roll Expert)
Stephanie Smith (Friend of Josh Hartnett)
Josh Rhein (Likes to eat)
Cuong Pham (Spring Roll Expert)
Warren Buffet Foundation (Wealthy donor)